Story Of Joel (the first seven years) My little guy turned seven today!

Here he is seven years ago today. We had a rough time because I had low amniotic fluid so I was given pitocin (he was due Dec 8th) which led some emergency I never fully understood. I was wisked away for a c section and I hardly got to say boo.





as you can tell, I have had a hard day.

Dad looks slightly better *growl*



although alot younger then today





Here we are all settled in



As happy as we were; the day we came home from the hospital, I had to go back because i had an appedectomy, Joel was not allowed to come back with me and I was breastfeeding so I had to go into this freezing cold chapel to nurse my little babe .. It was really hard to keep breastfeeding through this and it was hard to have two operations in three days, but we made it and he became a great little nurser

but he was still pretty small



; He liked to hang out with his cousin and best friend Luke, and he still does!







but eventually he bulked up quite nicely and became pleasantly plump haha

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Then he got taller as the year went on and he finally got some hair too He was a great little baby, but had a bit of a temper.






For a short while while he was two he became a doggie, and then a little while later a horse and a kitty cat. but he was all boy to me.







Then when he was almost three; he got a little sister! He was unsure of this little sister and was afraid that would mean the end of nurse, but I was able to nurse him and his sister together for a few more months









Joel loves to go the Childrens' Musuem here in Indy and go to the dinasours; he esp likes to talk to the palentologist and find out first hand about dinasours.


He also loves to play in the snow with his sister

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• anyway, hes' a really great kid and I'm glad hes' mine..
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I was just thinking about this song.. The group is called hiroshima and the album is called hiroshima Go..  It takes me back to my childhood, more specifially my teenager years.  I remember looking so pretty one day.  Just that my hair lay perfect and the day was beautiful.  My dad even took a picture of me that day and you could tell that I thought I was beautiful; that day. 

Today, the thought saddens me, because there were not many days that I believed I was beautiful. There are not many other days where a camera was taken out to shoot me.  I should have had more.

I should have been happier.  I will not let this thought depress me; for after all it is just a passing thought in a sea of thoughts. I can not let go of my dispair and perhaps we are not meant to let go of it.

Although I know for sure we are not supposed to hold on tight too, rock it to sleep and name it Sue either.

I think we are supposed to hold our dispairs in a pocket, or a small area in our purses or wallets. I think we are supposed to know that they are there and in them being there we have been given strength.

Strength i knowing that I well, yes.. I do fold. I give up under pressure and I fold like a stack of cards. Boom! Crash!  I give up and lay down. I pray to Jehovah for strength for I know it is not my own strength that will get me though any of my crisis'.

SO I learn through my tears to rely on Jehovah and maybe that is really the only thing to know.

You can not rely one human person for any length of time for we are swayed about like the waves of the sea. Our only anchor is Jehovah and we are to hold onto him like we hold on to our dear newborns. Yes, our lives depend upon it.

I know that my pain has been there and Iknow that in some ways I am stronger, but still I wonder.. Wouldn't I have just been stronger to not have had pain at all? Not to wear out my reserves thoughout my life. My doubtings, and lack of self confidence, my breaking down and falling; wouldn't, couldn't I have learned the same thing without the pain?

I pray to have less pain.  to have more joy. I pray to Jehovah to keep me in his heart. I pray for Jehovah to keep my family in his heart. I can not ask for more then that.

Today I went to the dr.  He gave me some medicine and a shot for the pain my shoulder/arm.  I've been going to that dr for more then two years and this is the first time that I have actually seen the dr.  He was very nice. He said that they were going to make me feel better.

He said that shot in my shoulder was going to help the pain and heal the scar tissue that had accumulated since I was in that car accident.  I was riding my bike and a car hit me when I was seventeen.

Amelia got in trouble tonight. She is the princess so it was kind of rare. She took out the leftovers that we had from dinner tonight (cheesy potatoes) helped herself to them, putting them on a barbie plate and making a huge mess. Daddy found it and was not happy. Her little behind was IN trouble
. 

my cupcake cutie sweater vest was in the mail today! I was so happy!  Amelia is going to look so cute in it.. I can't wait.. When I go to Illinois to see my friend daisy; Faythe and mia will wear it together :)  Cuteness :)

Today I went to the dr.  He gave me some medicine and a shot for the pain my shoulder/arm.  I've been going to that dr for more then two years and this is the first time that I have actually seen the dr.  He was very nice. He said that they were going to make me feel better.

He said that shot in my shoulder was going to help the pain and heal the scar tissue that had accumulated since I was in that car accident.  I was riding my bike and a car hit me when I was seventeen.

Amelia got in trouble tonight. She is the princess so it was kind of rare. She took out the leftovers that we had from dinner tonight (cheesy potatoes) helped herself to them, putting them on a barbie plate and making a huge mess. Daddy found it and was not happy. Her little behind was IN trouble
. 

my cupcake cutie sweater vest was in the mail today! I was so happy!  Amelia is going to look so cute in it.. I can't wait.. When I go to Illinois to see my friend daisy; Faythe and mia will wear it together :)  Cuteness :)

I'm still not feeling much better today.. Just coughing alot and my throat hurts.  My asthma is still acting up.  The colts are playing right now, but I don't know whether to wait until brian wakes up or watch it right now.  The kids have been good although mia was sad that she couldn't go swimming with mels' kids. 

OH, I hate being sick. I hate coughing and sneezing and missing my assembly because I'm having asthma attacks :( I just feel so ugh! In my old age (finally) I don't fight sleep anymore. I have been asleep for the last three days I think. The kids have just wrecked havoc in the house, but so far they  haven't gotten anything.

I think Brian is sick too but he is at work.  When he calls I'l tell him how much I appreciate him taking care of the kids while I sleep> I forget to tell him how important he is to me :) 

I really like facebook, but sometimes it just feels like another chore I have to do. *L* I'm Jess Meece on facebook. I believe.

I hope that Betty comes soon. everytime I think shes' coming and then she doesn't.. I just feel like my heart just sinks down again . I get so excited and then fall  .. I just have to  make it not so important. 

Joel is reading really well now. I'm vry proud of him. Now to work on writing! *L*

Yesterday I was given a vacuum from my sister Abby, she got it from a garage sale and I've been just going crazy with cleaning my tv room today. I am so happy!

Make a Smilebox postcard

my sister Ellicia had her baby

His name is Rain

He was 7 lbs and 12 oz. He was born at 4:40 pm Wednesday. He is beautiful. :)

i think that the years are passing so quickly by.. I might be lost in the sifting sands What if I can't find my way out in the end?

Time time time; beating on my head; I wanted time to pass so quickly as a child. I wanted to be old enough to scare the fears away,laugh at the ones that were hurting me. I wanted to be big enough not to break anymore. I wanted to be mature enough to have a love and a child of my own. I have those wonderful things and I am as happy as a clam. Now time is moving faster and now I want it to slow down; but, I can hardly catch my breath to yell for it. My babies are children now; I am almost afraid to turn around as they might have turned into adults!

I wish I had now; some of that time that was spent so recklessly. I wish that I could have been more secure in my own body. I wish that I had been home schooled. I think if i had had a couple of years to build my confidence; I might have been able to 'take on' more.

I am glad that I have the time that I have though. I love living. I wish the world wasnt' such an ugly place beyond Jehovah's Organization. I can't wait till paradise!

my little terrorist

Help! I've been kidnapped by a terrorist!

She is a small blonde with little curls. She demands my attention and yells if she doesn't get it. I am forced to clean and cook for her and to keep her clean and her clothes washed. I am made to play little games with her and 'be the mommy' in her playing house hoax. She forces me to read to her from small books with more pictures then words. She has been known to lose her temper if her food isn't prepared exactly the way she wants it. She demands 'to be held' and 'cuddling' sometimes throwing a tantrum over getting the car, getting her seatbelt on, and leaving an area that was to her liking. I have tried to get her to speak about herself so that she doesnt' blow up, find something in common, and have even been reduced to tears and anger. She is charming one moment and the next; terrifying. When she is sleepy; she gets even angrier and I try many tricks to get her to go to sleep so that I can find my escape. I sometimes will sing her a lullaby to lull her into sleep, I have even given into the'cuddling' and have held her until she sleeps. Then I think of my escape; at which point I am too tired to try. The next morning she has a smile on her face and I just melt. Shes' not a terrorist; shes' just a three year old on a bad day!

you didn't get all of it; here's the rest.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jdawg/40565750/sizes/o/

I love babies. I remember when Ellicia was a baby; this small dainty little thing and I fell in love right then with babies and I have never outgrown it. :) I was a kid of course and as such was more concerned with my own self, but I remember trying to teach Ellicia how to walk and holding her everyhwere I went. Which must have looked funny considering I was such a skinny 7-8 year old. I thought she was the cats' pajamas. Then Barbara came when I was ten and oh wow. This baby was so sweet. She hardly ever cried and we just adored her. I truly did carry this girl all the time. Even on trails when she was big enough to be walking. I could never say no to her. I still can't come to think of it. When she started talking we were all spellbound by her and the funny things she said. So serious, but so cute. but, alas she grew older so I assume I must have been 'baby' hunting when I found Danny.. or rather my sister Abby found Danny. The first time I saw Danny he was laying on his moms' waterbed. He must have been about three months old; but he looked like a brand new born. He was so small and sweet. I was 19 and was already getting the 'mother' bug so he was a great respite that I could enjoy a baby without actually getting married too young and having my own I rocked him and held him and I watched him grow everyday. I was in love once again :) then his parent's started having trouble and they fought alot. So they had me keep him overnight. THen I asked for him overnight. I wanted him all the time and they gave him to me so much because of their own troubles. I enjoyed being with him and he was an absolute delight. Well, hes' gone.. He is 12 years old this week. I know that I couldn't recognize him now. Ellicia's gone too.. She is in Ohio; but she might as well be on another planet. I don't know if I will ever see her. Barbara is gone too in a way; although I do see her.. I don't see 'her'.. I see someone else that she has become and I know that children grow up. I see it everday in my sisters'. So, maybe thats' why we cosleep, perhaps that is why I homeschool. I know already that this time is so fleeting and so quickly over. It is a wonderful time; but it can also be stressful. So I have to remind myself to just enjoy them and teach them. I wouldn't miss out on this for anything.

actual mock up an ebay auction

little three and a half year old girl named Amelia seeks good home through ebay. She loves Jonas and She can count to ten and she knows her ABC's she is very funny and nice to everyone she meets. She is a joy to be around; you will be glad that your purchased such a great little girl. She comes with her cousin Jonas who is four years old. He is a good singer and he knows how to count to ten and his ABCs' also. He is a good boy and he is very happy. Jonas and Amelia come as a pair; w.e would really like to keep them together. They are best friends and they keep each other entertained. Jonas wants to be sold for seven dollars and Amelia wants to be sold for three dollars. So the total will be ten dollars; plus shipping. They will be shipped in a priority mail box in bubble wrap for protection.; I hope you enjoy your purchase.

JUST KIDDING!

note. Amelia and jonas both collaborated with me for this ebay auction adding the things they thought were pertinent to themselves. They asked to be kept together and they requested the box instead of envelope and bubble wrap so they don't get their heads bumped. Amelia wanted all to know she is funny and Jonas wanted it known that he liked to sing. Theyalso requested to be sold on ebay and the prices that they wanted to 'go for'.

well, it's going to be another fun night here. Expecting family drama at the house tonight. fun fun fun

ellicia and justin are going to in town.. 'nuff said

my daughter with the marbles instead of eyes; told me today quite plaintively that her brother has dirty feet and if I could would I ask him to take a bath. She is such a blonde haired nymph; my little pixie.