http://jannawilson.typepad.com/downloads/house%20of%205.pdf

Yes I know what you think of me
You never shut-up
Yeah I can hear that


I said sometimes
I hear my voice
And it's been here
Silent All These Years




Years go by
Will I still be waiting
For somebody else to understand
Years go by
If I'm stripped of my beauty
And the orange clouds
Raining in head
Years go by
Will I choke on my tears
Till finally there is nothing left
One more casualty
You know we're too easy Easy Easy


Well I love the way we communicate
Your eyes focus on my funny lip shape
Let's hear what you think of me now
But baby don't look up
The sky is falling

http://www.bellaonline.net/articles/art41842.asp

Ever have a feeling of dread? That sense in your gut that something is not quite right? Your limbic system is responsible for that sensation. Your body is preparing for “fight or flight”, taking in sensory information and feeding it to the hypothalamus and thalamus. Think of them as the phone operators of long ago who directed the important calls to everyone. The hypothalamus directs them to the endocrine system, where hormones are released. It even controls how urgently those signals are perceived using neuropeptides. The thalamus directs those signals to the cerebral cortex, where decision making occurs.

http://newideas.net/adhd/different-types-adhd/depression-limbic

Those with this depressive type of ADHD are often:

• Inattentive
• Have a chronic sadness or low-grade depression
• Seem to be negative, or apathetic
• Have low energy levels
• They just do not seem to care
• They often feel worthless, or helpless, or hopeles

http://forums.intpcentral.com/forumdisplay.php?f=11

http://helpingpsychology.com/hoarding-behavior-uncluttering-the-mind

http://www.asktheinternettherapist.com/counselingarchive_attentiondeficitdisorder_ADD.asp

t is theorized that our usual ability to screen out and attend to stimuli of our choice is impaired with these individuals. I like to think of it as going to the mall during the summer. It is too bright and there are too many people around, but it is not overwhelming. However, at Christmas time after a couple of hours at the mall people are so over-stimulated that it is hard to find the car. People with ADD feel this way almost all the time.

It's amazing how just the right thing said at the right time can make you believe in humanity again. There I was the other night, despondant, down on myself, hurtting alot; and my darling husband swooped in and actually said 'just the right thing' Now don't get me wrong there is many a times he has said 'just the wrong thing' or 'not quite the right thing' but actually hearing 'just the right thing' made my broken heart soar. Just lifted me up and made me feel that all wold be fine, that he loved me and appreciated me all in one swoop. I love him so much, those moments of clarity and kindess speaks volumes.

What I love about my new baby is his beautiful smile. He smiles everyday around 7 pm. he adores me and I don't even know why. maybe I'm awesome anyway :)

why am I still kind of friendless?

---

How do you make friends? Everyone seems to have their own group of friends without needing any new ones. I am really interested in making some friends. I have pretty much just had my two sisters that are in town as my friends, but they have other friends and I really would like to have some friends of my own.

What should I say to people to get them interested?
How do I keep from being nervous and just not talking when I am around them?
Can I even think of making friends when I have three kids? maybe I shouldn't even be thinking of me right now.
Sometimes I think I have no social skills. What can I really do.

I am especially interested in making real friends on facebook. There are several people on my facebook that I am semi-friends with irl. I want to be able to talk to them on facebook and make actual irl friends with them.

Any suggestions?

I am really nervous and I think sometimes I get paranoid that people are thinking badly of me. I need to find a way to get past that.

"People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway.

If you are successful you will win some false friends and true enemies; Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway.

For you see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them, anyway." - Mother Teresa

thought about posting this on facebook and instead to decided to post it here; no one looks here anyway

the pbs special 'this emotional life' was really good and I only watched the part on relationships and bullying so far.. The part on bullying made me cry. I thought I'd gotten over that stuff.

2009 be gone w/ YA

I laugh in the face of 2009; it is gone and it is history. The petite mal seizures that were yesterday, (so to speak) the misery of everyday nausea that ended in the birth of my beautiful young son. All history. I begin 2010 with laughter, peace, and quiet. My husband was upstairs with the children watching star trek and I and my newborn asleep beside me; We watched Julie and Julia; and it was such a happy peaceful movie. I am going to have a good year this year. This year we began at home and as a family. Slightly larger then the year before, but then again that can only be good right? I am glad that 2009 ended and I hope that next year I have more health at this point then I did this year. I was pretty sick from pregnancy all year and I actually gave up through Aug until Betty came and saved me in November. I thank goodness for her and her good will. Pull me out of my sickness and slumber into the world of the living once more and in time for my baby boy. I learned that worry can make you sick, and I learned that there is no point in giving upl the world just keeps twirling whether you make an appearance or not. I learned I need people, and friends.. but not dramatic ones. I need peace in my life and i have decided to fight for it. (if that makes sense) this year I am going to not give up, just because I am sick for months from pregnancy, or the flu and back pains. or whatever life throws at me this year. I do not live this life for anyonebut my babies, Jehovah and myself and IF I can please most of them, I am doing well. I am going to push on and I am going to make my goals. 2010.. BRING IT ON