Thursday, January 31, 2008
Some of my favorite things
I have spent my life in 'well enough' I like cookies well enough, or peanut butter sandwiches. Etc.. ad infitium.
Today I have decided to look at the things I love. and only consume those things.. Look at the clothes I love for me, my daughter or my son and only buy those types.. Nothing that is just 'good enough' This is not because I am so special or that I have an over inflated idea of my self. No, I think I am learning finally (is thirty years long enough?) self awareness. I am finally aware of my likes and my dislikes.. and no.. i do not think that 'my' likes and dislikes are 'that' important.. but knowing that I have them.. oh what glory in that!
I am from Jehovah and I am wonderfully made. I have heard that phrase before in talks, in watchtowers; in the bible.. and I have (I admit) never felt those words applied to me. I have been a victim (of my own making) of my own sself control issues for so long. It is wonderful to me to see. LIke when I was six and mom was driving me home from getting eyeglasses for the first time.. That the green stuff was actually blades inidviduallly of grass. It was so bright and sunny that day.. thank goodness! I saw for one brief drive home that the world indeed is beautiful.. That it is shiny and wonderful.
Today I had a similar experience.. or I should say.. These last few weeks I have been having a simliar experience. I am learning about balance; I am learning about enjoying things and not just accumlating them.
I love pesto. It is basically fresh basil and heavy cream with salt and it so delicious.. It taste like velvet if velvet tasted good :) It is lovely and had a wonderful happy scent and delightfully creamy taste. I love it and I perfer it over say a cheeseburger. I want to have a little pesto from now on every week.
I also love mint jelly. It is green and gobby and it is sweet. It makes me smile to think about it. I want to have that; just because I love it.
I love pistachios.. They are hard to open; but they have such a nice crunch and well;; they make me happy too. I enjoy them and I dont' just blindly eat them.. I am happy because they are good to me.. in particular :)
I also love pancakes.. I already knew this one.
I love cheese, bleu, and american,.. I love cheese blended. soft or hard. I love cheese by itself, on bread.. I love cheese in my eggs and in my chicken oreven my steak.
I love wine. I love to sip sweet wine ..
and ice water!
and icecream!
I love my daughter in dresses that twirl. I love bright little sundresses that seem to float as she runs. I love to see my son in khakis with a button shirt and a sweater vest. He just looks so smart to me in this outfit. I love to dance. and I love the rain.. Not just watching it fall; but really getting in the middle of it on a warm spring or summer day.. I love feeling the fall of rain on my face and running around being soaked.
I love naked babies.. I love their softness and thier absolute delight in living. I lvoe them with clothes on too. :)
I love watching people at my seat at district conventions; so many brothers and sisters' gathered around that all unitedly love Jehovah.. it makes my heart swell.
I love to watch my children hug each other spontaneously. I love to see kindness on their part with no thought of reward. I love to see honesty and watch their love in Jehovah grow.
I love to watch children roll down hills. It is so exciting to watch them tumble down; excited and slightly afraid. but giggling in absolute delight that they don't mind the scratchy grass.. not at all.
I love to put my daughter in pigtails with big bows that match her dress and hear people ohh and ahh over her.. It makes me feel proud to be the mama of this little girl.
I love to teach my children new things and watch them retain and use it in their daily lives. I lvoe knowing that I taught them that!
The reasons that I have decided to only put before me things that I love as much as I can is because
i am too fat to eat things that dont' matter to me. that don't delight my senses and bring delight to my heart. I can not afford to eat just to eat and not savor.
I have been sad for too long of a time to spend one moment more not appreciating the lovely things that Jehovah has provided for us. and if there are things that I must do that I don't enjoy; well, I must learn to enjoy it because I will not waste more minutes in my self pity and depreciation.
My children are only this size now. they will continue to grow and change and the things that delight me today will be gone in a very short time. we only come this way but once; lets' make in beautiful.
I think also.. to truly appreciate the things that Jah has given us.. It does not do us good to be unhappy and surround ourselves in that unhappiness. Jehovah is a happy God .. and HE is love.
I know.. as adult that has suffered in so many ways.. I know that life is not peaches in cream. I know.. believe me I know.. I just can not dwell on it. I trust in Jehovah too much to fall apart anymore.
So please.. find something beautiful in your life to enjoy. Delight in something today and praise Jehovah for his loving creations!
Today I have decided to look at the things I love. and only consume those things.. Look at the clothes I love for me, my daughter or my son and only buy those types.. Nothing that is just 'good enough' This is not because I am so special or that I have an over inflated idea of my self. No, I think I am learning finally (is thirty years long enough?) self awareness. I am finally aware of my likes and my dislikes.. and no.. i do not think that 'my' likes and dislikes are 'that' important.. but knowing that I have them.. oh what glory in that!
I am from Jehovah and I am wonderfully made. I have heard that phrase before in talks, in watchtowers; in the bible.. and I have (I admit) never felt those words applied to me. I have been a victim (of my own making) of my own sself control issues for so long. It is wonderful to me to see. LIke when I was six and mom was driving me home from getting eyeglasses for the first time.. That the green stuff was actually blades inidviduallly of grass. It was so bright and sunny that day.. thank goodness! I saw for one brief drive home that the world indeed is beautiful.. That it is shiny and wonderful.
Today I had a similar experience.. or I should say.. These last few weeks I have been having a simliar experience. I am learning about balance; I am learning about enjoying things and not just accumlating them.
I love pesto. It is basically fresh basil and heavy cream with salt and it so delicious.. It taste like velvet if velvet tasted good :) It is lovely and had a wonderful happy scent and delightfully creamy taste. I love it and I perfer it over say a cheeseburger. I want to have a little pesto from now on every week.
I also love mint jelly. It is green and gobby and it is sweet. It makes me smile to think about it. I want to have that; just because I love it.
I love pistachios.. They are hard to open; but they have such a nice crunch and well;; they make me happy too. I enjoy them and I dont' just blindly eat them.. I am happy because they are good to me.. in particular :)
I also love pancakes.. I already knew this one.
I love cheese, bleu, and american,.. I love cheese blended. soft or hard. I love cheese by itself, on bread.. I love cheese in my eggs and in my chicken oreven my steak.
I love wine. I love to sip sweet wine ..
and ice water!
and icecream!
I love my daughter in dresses that twirl. I love bright little sundresses that seem to float as she runs. I love to see my son in khakis with a button shirt and a sweater vest. He just looks so smart to me in this outfit. I love to dance. and I love the rain.. Not just watching it fall; but really getting in the middle of it on a warm spring or summer day.. I love feeling the fall of rain on my face and running around being soaked.
I love naked babies.. I love their softness and thier absolute delight in living. I lvoe them with clothes on too. :)
I love watching people at my seat at district conventions; so many brothers and sisters' gathered around that all unitedly love Jehovah.. it makes my heart swell.
I love to watch my children hug each other spontaneously. I love to see kindness on their part with no thought of reward. I love to see honesty and watch their love in Jehovah grow.
I love to watch children roll down hills. It is so exciting to watch them tumble down; excited and slightly afraid. but giggling in absolute delight that they don't mind the scratchy grass.. not at all.
I love to put my daughter in pigtails with big bows that match her dress and hear people ohh and ahh over her.. It makes me feel proud to be the mama of this little girl.
I love to teach my children new things and watch them retain and use it in their daily lives. I lvoe knowing that I taught them that!
The reasons that I have decided to only put before me things that I love as much as I can is because
i am too fat to eat things that dont' matter to me. that don't delight my senses and bring delight to my heart. I can not afford to eat just to eat and not savor.
I have been sad for too long of a time to spend one moment more not appreciating the lovely things that Jehovah has provided for us. and if there are things that I must do that I don't enjoy; well, I must learn to enjoy it because I will not waste more minutes in my self pity and depreciation.
My children are only this size now. they will continue to grow and change and the things that delight me today will be gone in a very short time. we only come this way but once; lets' make in beautiful.
I think also.. to truly appreciate the things that Jah has given us.. It does not do us good to be unhappy and surround ourselves in that unhappiness. Jehovah is a happy God .. and HE is love.
I know.. as adult that has suffered in so many ways.. I know that life is not peaches in cream. I know.. believe me I know.. I just can not dwell on it. I trust in Jehovah too much to fall apart anymore.
So please.. find something beautiful in your life to enjoy. Delight in something today and praise Jehovah for his loving creations!
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
homeschooling news
I have found some really neat online sites for homeschooling Joel. Here is a few;
http://www.readingkey.com/demo/index.htm#Grade1srw
http://www.readingkey.com/demo/index.htm#Kindergarten
http://www.manatee.k12.fl.us/sites/elementary/palmasola/dolchflash.htm
http://www.tampareads.com/phonics/phondesk/cvc/cvc-3.htm
http://www.tampareads.com/phonics/phondesk/index-pd.htm
http://www.manatee.k12.fl.us/sites/elementary/palmasola/dpreprim.htm
http://www.magickeys.com/books/
The reading key one is really neat and they boast of super fast learning to read; it does cost 20 dollars for the first month and 8.00 for each additional month or fifty dollars a year. Although they give you alot of free samples. Mostly all the things for the the grade level for that first semester of the year. Maybe even a little more then that. SO I am using the free stuff to get to the last part and at that time I might buy it. if it works for us.
We also have found some really great math worksheets
http://www.math-drills.com/addition.shtml
We have been keeping at alot of informal learning and about four to five worksheets of different kinds a day. Hes' been progressing really well ; the biggest thing i have noticed latley is that his writing has been getting alot neater. I will try to take some pictures of his work to show his progress. Anyway.. we are all doing pretty good.. I just wish we could stop being sick!
http://www.readingkey.com/demo
http://www.readingkey.com/demo
http://www.manatee.k12.fl.us
http://www.tampareads.com
http://www.tampareads.com
http://www.manatee.k12.fl.us
http://www.magickeys.com/books/
The reading key one is really neat and they boast of super fast learning to read; it does cost 20 dollars for the first month and 8.00 for each additional month or fifty dollars a year. Although they give you alot of free samples. Mostly all the things for the the grade level for that first semester of the year. Maybe even a little more then that. SO I am using the free stuff to get to the last part and at that time I might buy it. if it works for us.
We also have found some really great math worksheets
http://www.math-drills.com/addition.shtml
We have been keeping at alot of informal learning and about four to five worksheets of different kinds a day. Hes' been progressing really well ; the biggest thing i have noticed latley is that his writing has been getting alot neater. I will try to take some pictures of his work to show his progress. Anyway.. we are all doing pretty good.. I just wish we could stop being sick!
Saturday, January 19, 2008
where have I been part 2
I know I have neglected you dear blog. It's been quite a winter with illnesses; we are in the midst of a run of the mill evil cough and cold. Brian had decided a week was long enough for littlest to have a fever and took us to the 'urgent care' this afternoon when he woke up. He is such a sweet man to take care of so well. He loves us to no end :) we arevery blessed to have the old man
Speaking of blessings; my young son has been so concerned with me and the princess. He has waited on us hand and foot at times.. I had all the water that I could need and Amelia was well supplied with her 'chocolate milk' He brought me my inhaler more then twice when daddy was at work and could tend to me and I was having asthma problems. He is a son to be proud of and I am.
A few things have happened since I have written last. the biggest thing is that we are a homeschooling family! Brian and I decided after much 'confidental talk' that the best thing for us is to pull Joel out of school and teach him at home. We have a multitude of reasons and I promise I will go into them very soon I promise!
I also have started a companion blog about my memories of my life. little snippets that I am thinking on at that time .. dont' feel you have to read them.. they are mostly just for me; but your more then welcome to glimpse at them. http://jessieslife.wordpress.com/
after all.. Jessica wasn't built in a day.. it's taken awhile to get this way :)
Today my sisters' husband Chris lost his brother in death. Jody was thirty years old; same age as me.. He was the youngest in his family and he will be missed by his family. I don't know alot about him.. I know he was in pain everyday. I know he had bad depression; but I also know that he had a good sense of humor and he was a kind person. i wish I could have gotten to know him better. i am sorry that my sisters' husband , his mother, and his family are suffering.. I want them to know that my thoughts are with them..
Speaking of blessings; my young son has been so concerned with me and the princess. He has waited on us hand and foot at times.. I had all the water that I could need and Amelia was well supplied with her 'chocolate milk' He brought me my inhaler more then twice when daddy was at work and could tend to me and I was having asthma problems. He is a son to be proud of and I am.
A few things have happened since I have written last. the biggest thing is that we are a homeschooling family! Brian and I decided after much 'confidental talk' that the best thing for us is to pull Joel out of school and teach him at home. We have a multitude of reasons and I promise I will go into them very soon I promise!
I also have started a companion blog about my memories of my life. little snippets that I am thinking on at that time .. dont' feel you have to read them.. they are mostly just for me; but your more then welcome to glimpse at them. http://jessieslife.wordpress.com/
after all.. Jessica wasn't built in a day.. it's taken awhile to get this way :)
Today my sisters' husband Chris lost his brother in death. Jody was thirty years old; same age as me.. He was the youngest in his family and he will be missed by his family. I don't know alot about him.. I know he was in pain everyday. I know he had bad depression; but I also know that he had a good sense of humor and he was a kind person. i wish I could have gotten to know him better. i am sorry that my sisters' husband , his mother, and his family are suffering.. I want them to know that my thoughts are with them..
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