less like scars and more like character,

when we have our inevitable scars they make us stronger?

Stronger for what because I see some that haven't any (to be fair; any that I can see outwardly; I know that we all have our own private problems) serious 'scars' in their life. They have coped fine and they are fine adults coping fine still. So do they not have character because they haven't suffered? They seem fine to me.

So what is the point of the scars in our life? The 'make you fall down and think you will never stand again' kind of scars? How exactly do they help or is this just something that is said trying to be kind to each other?

Maybe it is.. Perhaps it is that a bad thing happened to you when you were young, yesterday or whenever.. That really stinks. i am sorry that your hurting so badly.

I think that makes more sense to me then.. this is really going to give your character because I know people with wonderful character that hasn't had to suffer to get it.

Or people that might say. yes, i've suffered in my life; but if I hadn't gone through this terrible time or times then I wouldn't be the person that you see before you!

Well, Id on't know who I would have been if I hadn't had pain.. I kind of thing I would be a better person though because I wouldn't be embittered, or afraid of new circumstances; who would I be if I hadn't been ostracized as a child in school and other places? Would that have made me better? Or would I not be as empathetic as I am now if I hadn't? I dn't know..

Also, just a thought ; but a physical scar is a scar. You really would rather you didn't have it. Perhaps emotional scars are somewhat like that too.

Just to give an example of one of my emotional scars is my little guy Danny. People that know me IRL knows my story of Danny; but for you others I'll give you a quick play by play. I babysat for him and his parents' didnt' take car of him.. So I emotionally became his mother. I had him more then half the time. Eventually his mother left the family, and even later then that she died and he actually was motherless. Danny was everything to me; and I will tell you I taught him the truth as I would anyone that I loved so much and it eventually bit me in the butt.

His father started dating again and he didnt' want her to know that he had basically given one of his children away to me; so he started to not let me see him. Then it got worse until I received the phone call telling me not to contact them or have anything to do with him again because he told his daycare that Santa Claus is a lie and Jehovah hates liars. (I'm still proud of him for that) He was almost five when this happened and I was and am heartbroken. I think of him daily, although the pain has gotten better as the years has passed by.. He will be eleven in April.

Anyway, thats' why I had Joel nine months later. and I am forever thankfult to my little guy so I guess it did work out somewhat in the end.

So did those five years I had Danny.. were they wasted years? I don't think so to tell you the truth because he came about at a time I really needed to love someone and he was just wonderful. It was such a pleasure to have him even just for five years. I hope that he remembers my teaching of the truth to him .. I hope someday he remembers .. someday I hope to look him up; but I am scared. I am scared he doesnt' even remember me. Perhaps even if he doesnt' remember me I gave him love when he needed it most.. The first five years are when I was there for him.

anyway, that's just an example.. I have millions just like them. *L*..